I am so excited to share with you my new book about dating, heartbreak, self-worth and learning to love again without abandoning who you are. I’ve always believed that some of the most important conversations in our life happen when we feel safe enough to be completely open and honest, and this is my gift from my heart to yours.
There’s no lecture, audience or pressure, just the peace and security of curling up on the sofa beneath a blanket, with a cup of tea in hand, candles flickering and someone we can truly trust sitting beside us, allowing us to feel both seen and heard.
Sometimes, that someone we trust most in life is a best friend, and sometimes it’s a pet. In my case, it’s usually Rupert, my nine-year-old tabby with his beautiful green-yellow eyes, his little tiger stripes and an impressive ability to give me the side eye whenever I say something that he considers to be ridiculous.
And that is exactly where the idea for my new book began, Heart to Heart with Tracy: Finding Healthy Love Without Losing Yourself. A heart-to-heart conversation with Rupert on my sofa, musing over thoughts and feelings that we can sometimes feel too vulnerable to share with others for fear of judgement or criticism.
I really appreciate talking openly about these things that we don’t always say out loud, as relationships can be one of the most beautiful parts of our life. They can make us laugh until our belly aches, feel safe enough to be vulnerable, and give us someone with whom we can share the quietest and most safest moments of our existence with.
But these very same relationships can also bring us such enormous pain, and in my youth, heartbreak affected absolutely everything from my sleep and appetite to my self confidence and ability to trust.
Sometimes, it can even make us question who we really are. And so I wanted to write this book for every person who has every experienced a kind of pain that made them question themselves and others.
“What happened to me?”
“Why did I allow that?”
“Why do I keep choosing the same kind of person?”
“Can I ever trust again?”
“Am I better off alone?”
“How do I know what healthy love actually looks like?”
And perhaps most importantly: “How do I love someone without losing myself in the process?”
From the highs of falling in love, to the heartbreak of losing it, I wanted to explore the wonderfully complicated world of modern dating and relationships. Studying relationship psychology, I’m fascinated with the science behind attraction and the reasons that we can feel almost love-drunk when we first meet someone new.
I wanted to recognise the rush that we feel when their name appears on our phone, the excitement of seeing them and anticipation of receiving their messages. The honeymoon period can feel so incredibly magical, but what happens when that initial intensity changes? And why do some make the mistake of seeing this loss of excitement as the loss of actual love?
I also wanted to ask a more difficult question: “What if we have become so accustomed to emotional highs and lows that healthy love feels boring?“ As sometimes, after experiencing chaotic or toxic relationships, safety can feel so bizarrely unfamiliar.
A lifetime of experience, wisdom, lessons, mistakes and studies have given me such insight into healthy love, and I recognise how dating today can feel wonderfully liberating and incredibly disconnected at the very same time. We have more opportunities than ever to meet people, but many of us also experience a lack of depth and feel so incredibly unseen, unloved and alone.
From dating apps and ghosting to situationships and changes in tone, this heartfelt guide is a gentle, non-judgemental way to finally embrace and nurture healthy love, whatever your age, relationship status or dating history.
I wanted to talk about all aspects of love and dating honestly, in a way that people can see, feel and experience for themselves. I wanted to be able to hand this book to my children, family, friends, loved ones and strangers alike that I wish I could hug, help to heal and tell them just how amazing they are and how much unconditional love they deserve.
Whether you’re happily single, in a situationship, dating, engaged, married for a lifetime, divorced or trying to better understand yourself in the present moment of your life, this book is for you. In learning the language of our relationships, I welcome you to explore relationship psychology in a new and exciting way that I hope feels kind and accessible, rather than intimidating and overwhelming.
Together we will explore attachment styles, love languages, boundaries, emotional regulation, trauma responses and the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationship dynamics, as Rupert and I translate professional terminology into real life, comfy bestie chat.
You don’t need to become a psychologist to understand your own relationships, you simply need to be willing to look honestly at your experiences and move forward with love, compassion and forgiveness to remove past pains from the peace of your present.
I feel that we’re all experienced having our identity slowly eroded until we barely recognise ourselves, whether that’s in a friendship or relationship, and I hope that this book helps people to come home to themselves once again. Ultimately, Heart to Heart isn’t about finding the perfect person, but becoming better at recognising what is actually healthy for us. We witness so many red flags in the relationships that surround us each day, to the point that unhealthy behaviour becomes normalised and in time we know no different. this book is that difference.
So here is to nurturing relationships that actually allow us to breathe, uplift us and see one another for our souls rather than simply our appearance, status or personal gains. And to becoming brave enough to be completely, wonderfully ourselves!
The greatest love story that we will ever write may be the one where we finally come home to who we were always destined to be x
My book is currently available in paperback or Kindle on Amazon!
