Feeling in a reflective mood following the break up I couldn’t help but find words stringing themselves together in my mind as I walked home through the rain in London today. So I penned them as I sat in silence at home, and this for you is the contents of my heart.
Why are you walking? Because there is nothing left for me here, I cannot stand to remain despondent. My life is inane, my days monotonous, I’m slowly dying in exile.
Where will you go? To the glorious lush hills of the horizon, where the sun blesses the land and the world is closest to the stars.
But what of the things that you leave behind? I walk away, they no longer delight me, they hinder my paradise and chance of sublimity.
How long must you walk? For as long as it takes, days, months, years; The prosperity exceeds the distance.
How long shall I wait for you? Nevermore, I walk away for the better; To bring a superior life for us both, apart, untied.
Does your heart not break? No longer, it abandoned this dwelling a great time ago.
And so this is goodbye? It is, and I am already belated.
But you cannot see me, you cannot hear my heart beat as it fights to break free from my chest. You cannot feel my agonising lungs as they fill with abundant air and my own ribs imprison me turning inward; through hunger, through heartbreak, through love. You unceremoniously abandon me like the tears that fall from my eyes before the smile that I no longer have the strength to hold.
You unhinge the gate to our quiet paradise and leave the unforgiving wolves to ravish what was once your essence, your life-blood, your sanctuary.
Now you walk away from me without a care in the world. Leaving behind a tortured soul and repressed mind. Do not speak of this, do not be forlorn. It is the thirst I possess. It is my obligation to walk away.
Time passes, the seasons change, angels grace the earth and leave. And you have grown tired, drawn and oppressive as the feet you once walked on as a young man now betray you for the distance yet untamed to your horizon.
The horizon that you presumed to be so lush and spectacular, the horizon for which you disposed of your blessedness can never come. For our fair earth is domical, and the horizon cannot be reached; for every step you take toward it, it brings you one step closer to where you first started. The wonders of the world around you have wilted and perished through neglect whilst you have ignorantly aged whist chasing the stars.
And now your words have true meaning, your life is inane, your days are monotonous, you are slowly dying in exile; because the paradise that you walked away from, is now conquered by another.
Open your eyes to life, love with your heart and feel with your soul. We are alive, we are blessed, our intangible fortune is priceless. Do not reject today for the promise of tomorrow, because it’s the only thing that isn’t a given.
Walk away. If you must. If paradise isn’t good enough. Or stand and open your eyes before it is too late.
Tracy Kiss 30.07.13