As modern women, we’ve been sold a bit of a lie. We’re told that to be strong we have to lean into our masculine side, to be more of the hunter, achiever and stoic, the one who never breaks a sweat or boundary when the going gets tough.
Strength isn’t a masculine trait, and softness isn’t a feminine weakness. If anyone is constantly in warrior mode, they’re going to burn out, just as being too laid back may never get results. The real, sustainable power happens when we stop choosing sides and realise that these two energies are actually two halves of the very same whole. We can nurture both strength and femininity as women, without sacrifice.
When we think of it like a battery, we need both the positive and negative to create a current. Masculinity cannot exist without femininity.
Finding Your Strength
Being a strong woman isn’t just about how much you can lift at the gym, although it’s important to build physical strength. We must also consider building emotional and mental strength in life that can support all of our dreams and passions.
Strength training works wonders for our confidence, as there is something incredibly empowering about knowing you can physically handle your own world, by yourself or besides a partner. Eating for this strength is also a vital component, swapping the concept of dieting to be slim and beautiful, for fuelling your body with nutrients for strength and stamina, instead of denial and deprivation which lead to weakness.
Mentally, it’s vital to set non-negotiable boundaries by saying “no” to what does not serve you. It protects your energy so that you can spend it on what actually matters most to you as an individual. It’s all too easy to bend over backwards to help and please others, but when we bend too far we will only break. With clear boundaries we know who we are, what we want, and what level of consideration towards others is healthy and sustainable.
I also strongly believe in life long learning, reading, listening to podcasts and studying courses, as mental strength comes from innate curiosity and the willingness to grow and progress. When we are held back in life, we become stagnant and risk stunting our growth and enthusiasm.
Emotional resilience also plays a large part in being a strong woman. When we learn to master our reactions we recognise that we cannot control what other people say or do, but have full authority over our own response. This is where our power resides.
It’s also vital that we sit with discomfort and do not shy away from difficult emotions, situations or events, but instead acknowledge them and move forwards instead of running away. No matter the challenges that come my way in life, I take mountains apart one rock as a time, in bitesize chunks, until I have overcome all obstacles in my path. This leads to such mental clarity, peace and freedom.
Simple Ways To Feel More Feminine
Once we’ve built this beautifully strong foundation, we have the safety to then let our feminine energy flourish. This isn’t simply about wearing pink, unless you want to, it’s about innate flow, intuition and receptivity.
When we can find beauty in the mundane, we soften the harshness of life. So light a candle as you work from home, treat yourself to a beautiful coffee cup that makes you appreciate your morning routine, and choose clothing that makes you feel comfortable, confident and uplifted.
When we indulge our senses by wearing silk robes, filling our bathroom with fresh floral scents and putting on a playlist that makes us want to dance while we do the dishes, we can get out of our head and into our body. Movement reminds us that we are alive, wether we dance, stretch or take a walk without headphones or smartphones. The feminine lives in the body, while the masculine lives in the mind.
And finally, the thing that I struggle with the most is practicing receiving. When someone offers you a compliment or to give you a hand with your bags, say “thank you” instead of “I’ve got it.” Be open to kindness and consideration from others, without it feeling like a weakness or insult.
We don’t have to turn off our strength in order to be feminine, nor do we have to hide our femininity in order to be taken seriously. The most magnetic women in the room are the ones who can command a meeting with sharp logic, tapping into masculine energy, and then pivot to deeply listening and empathising with a friend, through feminine energy, five minutes later.
As women we are a multifaceted masterpiece, so don’t let the world tell you that you have to pick a lane and stick to it when you can thrive, and drive, in both.
