Last night we received the terrible news that one of Luca’s very close friends took his own life; it’s not my place to go into the details or circumstances of what led him to this terrible time but I feel a great need to encourage people to express their feelings and talk about their troubles and fears.
It is a very painful situation to be in seeing somebody close to you suffer and feeling that you can’t do anything to help. There is always something that you can do, whether they welcome your help or not you must still give it. The first response of anybody who is hurting is to push everyone away and put up their defences because deep down they feel like the world is against them. They never want to be alone, and you can guarantee they never want to feel the way they do, in such deep depression feeling as though life is caving in on them and there is no way out. But you can reach out to them and give them the hand they need to pick themselves up again.
People do have hope and it is in everybody no matter what somewhere deep inside; we were all born to want to survive to avoid danger and react with fight or flight as an instinct. It is never within us to want to give up, but it is sadly a behaviour that can be learned in life. Today it could start as feeling lonely, losing a job, falling behind on bills or the breakdown of a relationship, and when the black clouds begin to form, weeks, months or years later even suddenly you can’t see the light for the darkness. But you have to pull yourself back, you have to realise the love and blessings that you have all around you and stop before there is no turning back. Don’t follow the path of self-pity and abandonment, you may be grieving for the life you wish you would’ve had today, but hundreds will be grieving for you if you don’t live to see tomorrow. And you can still have it, you can still live it and own it and feel it and believe it, you can be so incredibly happy again you just have to give yourself the chance.
You might feel lonely and dejected but there are so many people that love you, you just don’t realise or hear them say it often enough, but the love is there and it’s strong and true. You might feel like you have no future but tomorrow is what you make it, anything no matter how bad it is can be turned around, start a fresh, wipe the slate clean and begin again, because that is the beauty of life, nothing is ever too late.
Debts can be repaid, words said and actions already done can’t be taken back but they can be explained and forgiven and forgotten and moved on from. And a broken heart will always heal, it might take a very long time and cut you so deeply it hurts beyond belief, but I promise you it will heal in time. You are never alone, you are never unloved and you never deserve to suffer no matter what has happened.
Speak to somebody, speak to anybody. It doesn’t have to be a partner, it doesn’t have to be a parent or even a friend if it’s too difficult, sometimes a doctor, a therapist a stranger or a helpline has the light that you can turn to if you’re worried that people that you know will judge you for expressing your pain; but they won’t because they care. You’re worth so much more than you will ever know and you’re loved by so many that you will never realise. Just speak, speak openly and honestly and say the words out loud, hear them, write them, recognise them and understand what you are thinking and saying first.
Taking your own life is never the answer nor the right thing to do, no matter how much you are hurting right now please think of others who would be left behind. It is not just your life you will end; it is your parents, your family, your friends, your colleagues and future generations who will lose a part of themselves along with you.
You are loved, you are alive, you are blessed, you have a future to make your own, and tomorrow is another day and another chance to try again. Please don’t ever forget that. Leaving will not answer, finish or close the problems that have driven you to this point it will only destroy the people who love you most. If not for yourself then please have mercy for them.
And if you have nobody to turn to then turn to me because I promise I will always listen whether we know one another or not. x x x
In loving memory of A.C.A a beautiful soul taken from this world too soon x x x x