This week a magazine article I was featured in went global, it was picked up by social media and the press worldwide and literally spread like wildfire within hours. It is so eye opening to see a completely honest strangers perspective of you based on a few words and pictures in the press. For them to not know the full story, background or details of your life and judge you solely on what they see is so frank it makes me smile, frown and laugh all at the same time. At first I found myself curled up in bed reading through the comments online, thinking wow do I really come across in some of the ways that they describe me, but then I thought wait a minute, I am in a magazine with sperm on my face and very little explanation as to why!
These people don’t know that I wrote a beauty review about the procedure, they don’t know the in’s and out’s of my sensitive skin and the troubles I have been through with cosmetic procedures in the past which led me to research natural remedies. They simply see me with a face full of research and make their own presumptions necessarily. I am equally shocked to see the majority of comments are completely supportive and positive. I guess not many women are comfortable with talking about taboo subjects, they may not admit what they have and haven’t tried or not want to be seen in a potentially negative light, which is understandable, but men on the other hand are quite proud to present their support. Men are happy to forward the article to their friends, partner and work colleagues in an encouraging and light hearted manner and as a result it’s been very successful, whilst some women have flown the flag of support and others have shied away. I love to inspire and motivate others, as well as opening the door of communication between male and female, explaining why as women we think and feel what we do, and what our expectations and hopes for a partner are. I break the ice, give perspective and do all of the leg work so that people can see the final result and think would I like this for myself or not?
Why should we be embarrassed or ashamed of what is natural, what creates life and what we see on a, desirably daily, but probably monthly basis. It’s not the first time and it certainly won’t be the last, you’re allowed to have an opinion without having to justify your actions, we’re all human after all. On the other hand I love to justify my actions. If people take a negative opinion of me, disagree with what I say or challenge my views I determine both sides of the board, the reasons for and against each and shed light on that little word known as ‘why’; because more often than not, people judge their opinions on poorly informed fact or hearsay. For example, “I don’t like Dave” “Why don’t you like Dave?” “Because he’s an idiot” “Why is he an idiot?” “Everyone says he is and he looks like he is!” “But has he done anything wrong to you?” “No” “My point exactly.” First impressions, appearance, hearsay, small-minded opinions of others, do yourself a favour and recycle them accordingly, ain’t nobody got time for that! You have a mind, use it, don’t judge others based on experiences that are not your own. And yes I can be wrong, and I hold my hands up graciously if and when I am. I’m not perfect but at least I know that I treat others with the same courtesy and respect that I expect to be treated. I lead life by example. Unless I first try it, feel it, find it and understand it I cannot judge it.
Somebody left a comment on one of my Youtube videos about dating as a spinster today and it really hit home. He said that he’d dated spinsters, who is defined as an unmarried woman, typically older and beyond the usual age for marriage, and said he found that they are angry and bitchy. Like a beautiful bunch of grapes that have been left in the fruit bowl for too long after all of the other fruit has been eaten, they wither, shrink and turn dark and hard. I do classify myself as a spinster, or raisin if you will, not the fact of my age, as at twenty-six I realise that I still have a few years left in me yet, but for the pain that I feel. When my 6yr engagement ended last summer I was hurt, abandoned and heart broken; I lost my faith in mankind and felt robbed of the years that we’d had together because I couldn’t understand how you could share your life happily with somebody who one day just goes, no word, no meaning, just gone.
It left a heavy aching void inside of me, my heart was cold and everything that was loving and kind around me suddenly felt alien and I just couldn’t connect to anyone or anything. Now almost a year on I have come so far, but the scars are still there and I don’t think they will ever truly heal for how deep they go, I know that they will fade and one day I will not notice them, and years down the line even I will know that it wasn’t just an injury but a fortunate survival and lucky escape. Hey I know it hurt my heart, but at least it didn’t take out my lungs and soul too, it could have been worse, thankfully it’s just a small tear now. So I am using this time to turn myself from a hardened raisin into a juicy fat grape once again, I am emersing myself in the ocean of life, learning, experiencing and growing as a person, and day by day I pump my flesh back up a little at a time, edging ever closer to ripeness and the hope of rejoining the fruit bowl.
This week I had a very different kind of photoshoot to capture the essence of ‘me’, which may sound completely self centred but I assure you it’s not. The shoot wasn’t about capturing beautiful makeup, perfect hair, stylish clothes and maintained beauty, it was about stripping away the mask we wear, taking our bodies back to nature and being seen in a light where we are simply ourself. Minimal, humble, unique and with emotion. Not to do, not to act and not to look, just to be. And this is me, being me with unkept hair, spots, imperfections and nothing but a camera and a set of lights.
This was the final week of the Easter holidays and we’ve literally bounced from one thing to another, playing, making, cooking, visiting and giggling. It is lovely to have the time to do things with the children without the concern for rushing home for bed, or being back in time for school. The holidays are what life is about, endless sunny afternoons, ice cream and cuddles, and it really makes you appreciate the joy of parenthood. I would give anything to see my children smiling and having fun.
No break from school would be complete without the compulsory family illness, and this time around it was poor little Millie who got an eye infection. Her eye became itchy, sticky and sore so she’s having drops twice a day to help to clear it up. Hopefully she’ll be back on track in a few days time, as it’s certainly not stopped her from having fun, making and crafting. We have a picnic planned for this weekend and lots of family visits no doubt with plenty of Easter eggs and treasure hunting. Bliss.
It’s been a busy week of filming, radio interviews, blogging and social media with my twitter followers reaching 800, my blog hitting 150,000, Youtube 130,000 and my Instagram 1800. It is so addictive watching followers figures and views increasing on a daily, if not hourly, basis. I love the feedback that I receive, it puts the biggest smile on my face when I have a bit of banter with my readers, and I’m pleased that people find comfort in what I do. I’m just me, being me and showing the world life through my own eyes.
I think it’s always important to stay humble, to see the beauty in life and to be kind to others. I approach each day with positivity, enthusiasm and the ability to not take myself too seriously. Easter is a time of year for new beginnings, being thankful for what we have and having a second chance in life to make tomorrow everything it deserves to be. Each morning is unwritten, a chance to reach for the stars and conquer your dreams. So please do not waste a second of it, live, laugh, love and enjoy this special time of year. And if like me you want a chocolate egg or seven, then don’t deny yourself, savour it, enjoy it, annihilate it and then go for a nice long walk with the kids tomorrow to work it off. Then clean out the supermarkets and do it over again when all Easter chocolate becomes half price next week! 😉 I hope you have a fantastic Easter with your family and loved ones whatever you do.