Millie had a fantastic sixth birthday party at the weekend, the weather was beautiful and warm, the sun was shining and she spent a full six hours partying with four of her best friends from school at the local indoor play followed by colouring, painting, cake decorating and the park. As I’m writing this now Millie and Gabriele are both sound asleep snoring like hippos next to me and I’m pretty sure I’ll be joining them very soon as I’m beyond shattered. It was lovely to see Millie running around laughing and feeling so special on her big day. All of my hopes and wishes for her had built to the climax of this afternoon and aside from the odd moment involving a grazed knee on the slide, a sulk for feeling tired and deciding to be a monster instead of a witch at her fancy dress party it all went rather smoothly. It was pretty entertaining to see a flock of little squeaky girls all sweet and polite suddenly go charging into the indoor play squealing and roaring like monsters as they chased one another around, only to fall asleep in the car on the way home, daintily decorate the birthday cake and sing high-pitched songs before running around the park like headless chickens as the evening crept in before their bed time. And the morning after in the school playground was hilarious to see their sleepy little faces sheepishly arrive for class. The joys of being young and immortal!
Millie has been on a super-high since her birthday playing with her presents constantly, feverishly talking about her “epic” party and questioning how long it is before her next one. Well! 🙂 It’s so strange to see children these days taking to technology like a duck to water, it’s as if they’re a new super-breed of humankind who are genetically modified to use Android, and as I flick through the user manuals and stroke a questioning finger across my chin Millie simply zips and zaps through the apps and shows me how it’s done. Don’t I feel old!
It’s been such a hectic but lovely day and it reminds me of the beauty of childhood, how one moment you’re happy and so excited you could burst, and the next you’re tired, stroppy and want to be left alone, only to be incredibly excited seconds later at the sheer prospect of blowing out birthday candles. I guess as a child everything is so disposable and moods change just as quickly as whatever thought or new activity comes along. I can’t imagine having the same range of emotions myself in just one day, to go from one end of the spectrum to completely the other side in a matter of hours and cease to acknowledge what came before. But we can all learn from children and the way that they see life, because they very much live within the moment and it’s a very straightforward and refreshing way to be.
For some reason I can’t help thinking that everything I do from now on could be my last time and I may never notice things disappear from my life. From something as little as passing a stranger in the street and knowing that you may never walk past them ever again, to eating your last mint chocolate chip ice cream, your last kiss goodbye to a loved one, the last time you’ll ever visit a certian country or stroke a certain animal. Our lives are filled with last moments that we fail to even acknowledge but happen in their thousands every single day; and it only serves to remind me to make the most of everything and appreciate the happiness and joy of the here and now because this is what life is. It’s not about always dreaming of tomorrow, wanting more and always feeling hard done by or put out, but seeing the here and now and realising how thankful we all should be for the amazing blessings we receive each day. Having such gorgeous weather on Millie’s birthday, seeing her laugh and run around with her friends and play games, it just melts my heart and it’s a memory that I will hold within me forever and always. To be able to see my parents, to speak to my grandparents, to hold my children in my arms and spend a lazy Sunday afternoon watching the children grin from ear to ear is completely priceless in love, even though it dented my purse!
I had a bit of a funny turn at the weekend when I had a pain in my stomach and simply passed it off as my period approaching and feeling tired from being kept up until the early hours of the morning by a constipated and teething Gabriele. But out of nowhere after finding no way to soothe the pain I decided to change into some comfy trousers and a vest top to cool down when I noticed my hands, arms, face, shoulders and legs begin to fill with a bright hot red rash as if I’d just had boiling water thrown over me. My heart began racing and I struggled to slow my breathing to a normal pace as my whole body tingled and burned and my stomach felt as if I’d been kicked. I telephoned the out of hours doctors for advice and they told me to go to hospital but there was no way I could take the two children with me for hours of waiting and tests so I opted for a return call from a doctor a couple of hours later. By the time they got back to me fortunately the burning and pain had subsided and I was almost back to normal again and the only thing they could put it down to was an allergic reaction. In my whole life I’ve only ever had one allergic reaction to Amoxacilin when I was seventeen and had glandular fever and tonsilitus at the same time. I’ve never reacted to food, hay fever, animals or anything, but the doctor said it could have been something as simple as sitting on a sofa or tasting something new and it’s quite likely that I’ll never find out what it was or that it will ever happen again. To think of how I felt and what it did to me was scary, yet eye-opening at the same time. I hadn’t eaten anything new or been anywhere different, my washing powder is the same and my life is pretty normal now compared to recent months and travelling about, so I’m completely stumped. It’s served to remind me that although we are strong we are also fragile and the smallest imbalance has the ability to cripple us within a split second. I’m thankful that it subsided and I am back to feeling normal once more.
My poor little Gabriele has had another troublesome week as he’s been suffering from constipation after his teething sent him off of solid food and his resultant increase in milk intake has thrown his digestive system into chaos. The poor little nugget is sleeping even less than normal at night and now howling with tummy cramps for which I can only soak him in a walm bath, rub his tummy and encourage him to take some water. How long and difficult these testing days are, but how quickly they are forgotten once over and done with. He only has four more teeth to come through and his incisors are proving to be the worst for him yet, thankfully his gums have split but it’s just the teeth taking their time to move down so he’s chewing on and dribbling over everything constantly.
Aside from when he’s pooping or teething he is a very cheeky and kind-hearted little boy who absolutely adores feeding everyone and everything he can; he takes a chubby little hand, dunks it into a bowl of cereal and force feeds anybody within toddling distance whether they like it or not, adorably accompanied by a high-pitched “Mmmm” sound that he makes apparently to encourage the act of force-feeding. What a sweetheart. I can’t believe my little Gabriele is a year and a half old already, before you know it it will be time for his second birthday party and then I’ll have to think about preschool and education! Where does the time go?
It’s my twenty-sixth birthday this weekend and I can’t help but feel hesitant and slightly panicky. I’m not good at having a fuss being made over me, I prefer to do nice little things for others and organise rather than be surprised. And I guess it’s safe to say there have been a fair few surprises happen to me this year, some good and some bad but all a journey nonetheless; it’s not so much about the specifics of what happens to you but how you move forward and learn from it that counts. I like to think that you can always take away something positive from every situation no matter how bad it is. I’m very fortunate to have my children and close family to keep me focused and strong and failing that a box of chocolates and a bottle of wine are a sound plan-b.
So, I’ll be a year older in just a matter of hours, but why do I feel like it’s come far too soon? I’ve never been so blah about getting older as I am now. I feel unprepared and a bit annoyed for some ridiculous reason and I’m more than a little tempted to have a glass of champagne or seven to soften the blow of premature ageing. I have some very luxurious pampering sessions approaching in my diary which I’m looking forward to as I’ve been working out every single day on my P90X challenge and have put my beauty regime on hold.
My body has changed incredibly in just two weeks since starting the three month P90X routine and I am absolutely loving it. I have muscles in places I never knew existed, my stamina is through the roof and I suspect if I were to cut my finger then I would bleed green blood for how healthy and fine-tuned I am right now. Despite the mountains of Millie’s birthday cake, chocolates and nibbles I still have abs and a tight set of legs so I’m not complaining. It’s nice to be able to have a few treats and know that I can burn it off with my daily exercise schedule, which is tiring but inspiring at the same time. I love pushing the boundaries, raising my abilities and setting myself crazy challenges and mountains to move. I guess that’s one thing I can always be sure of, I will never lead a boring life!
Now I have to confess I am a BIG fan of TOWIE, it’s reality TV at its finest that I find myself glued to as everybody is so amazingly good looking, successful and charismatic. And what a drama they cause! I was fortunate enough to have filmed with the cast of TOWIE after being invited to a party with them at the start of this year when Charlie Sims and Ferne McCann held their three year anniversary in Chigwell, Essex.
And they seemed a typical couple, socialising with friends, fretting about their clothes and bouncing off of each other for opinions and thoughts on the party they had thrown, much as I would do if I had arranged a get together. The normality of it all seemed anything but a reality drama and it was a fantastic evening with a very sweet couple who were clearly in love. I found Charlie to be very timid, sweet and petite, we stood talking at the end of the evening with a glass of wine and he thanked us for coming and was such a genuine and nice guy. Ferne was equally as nice, floating around the room like a butterfly in a gorgeous golden gown and working the room, coming backwards and forwards to see Charlie and hold hands and reassure each other. So when I sat in my comfies on my sofa last night and caught up with the latest series of TOWIE I felt sick to see that Charlie and Fern had split, and came even closer to vomiting in my own mouth whilst they were in Vegas he kissed Jasmine with Ferne pouring her heart out to him over the phone.
It seems the curse of TOWIE has really set in as pretty much every couple that filmed that night with us have split up, Lucy and Dan are no more, Lauren and Tom, Joey and Sam, Gemma and Rami, Ferne and Charlie and me and my ex-fiance. What is the world coming to when men feel so hard done simply by for being in a relationship!? Like they’re missing out on ‘life’ for finding love so they throw it away in favour of slags and boozy nights out. I literally shouted at my television screen as Ferne cried down the phone to him telling him how he was breaking her heart whilst he’s sat with Jasmine and I ached for her from being in her shoes just a few months ago myself. Clearly the limelight ruined what was a beautiful and sweetheart love that they shared previously, and this timid Charlie has now been replaced by a cock-sure lothario after bragging about having slept with twenty women since he walked out on Ferne. When will people realise that love is precious? Life is short and a quick fix isn’t the right kind of fix. To have somebodies heart is a blessing, to feel the warmth and security and peace that love brings is so hard to come by and certainly shouldn’t be thrown away in the blink of an eye for something that will never come close. It seems the men of this world have all been drinking the same water recently and now live by an entirely different set of life rules which previous generations would be ashamed of. It’s pathetic and self-destructive and there are too many Peter-Pan wannabes out there who need to wake up and smell the coffee. Imagine if our grandparents generation flitted from partner to partner, breaking up families and throwing their lives down the gutter to live for the weekend? I pity the children of tomorrow thinking it’s normal behaviour past the age of twenty-one. Morons!