Life is a funny old thing isn’t it? We’re born to be needy, attention seeking individuals, as he who screams loudest undoubtedly gets fed and tended to first. But I was a quiet baby, a content little bundle who never asked for much and took a back seat in both the car and life. Growing up when other children would dance and perform I would perch quietly in the wings and watch on, only my eyes following the movement and kerfuffle.
As a young lady I was incredibly insecure in myself and bullied badly for being ugly, geeky, hesitant, unconfident and apologetic, you know when somebody bumps into you and immediately you say sorry even when it’s not your fault? I was an easy target, a doormat and a kind soul who was all too often taken advantage of. And when I became a lone parent I felt abandoned, unloved and the little bit of self-confidence that I had left in myself as a woman was completely shattered.
In the summer of 2013 my life changed forever when my heart was broken for the final time, and it was then, for the first time that I found myself. I guess when you have nothing left to lose then you have absolutely everything in the world to gain. I couldn’t possibly cry another tear, I couldn’t feel any more pain, anymore misery or self doubt because my slate was clean. A fresh start and a beautiful new beginning alone and at peace.
My name is Tracy Kiss and I am a single mother to my two darling children Millisent 7yrs and Gabriele 2yrs. They fill my life with a curious sense of adventure, wonder, joy and unconditional love. They are simply the air that I breathe. I would like to share a part of my mountainous journey with you right now, in the form of a Fifty Shades Of Grey photoshoot that I had last weekend. And I would like to say to every woman out there who feels insecure, under confident, ugly, downtrodden, overweight, underweight, imperfect, or harassed in life by those who try to put you down, forgive them all and let it go. You live one incredibly beautiful life, you have one priceless chance to do what makes you happy, and to hell with anything and anyone that stands in your way. Don’t try to change yourself, be yourself.
I’ve never been so old as I am today, I’ve never had so many imperfections from pregnancies, scars and the wear and tear of life, but I realise that I will never be as young again as I am today, my breasts will never stay as high as they are now and my face will never look as youthful. It’s what’s inside that counts, your heart and soul and outlook on life is what will see you through to the end of your days. So open your eyes, seize the day, learn from your mistakes and live for what makes you happy. From one ridiculously shy and bullied girl to the butterfly I am today, albeit dressed in bondage!
Am I needy and attention seeking? No. I ask nothing of nobody and I stand on my own two feet in life with a great deal of responsibility on my shoulders. I could happily go days, weeks and months without speaking to anybody. But when you see these pictures I want you to hear my words and feel my message. Please know that you can do, and deserve, far better in life than what you think is normal. Disappointment, regret, feeling hurt and being used isn’t normal, it isn’t healthy and life doesn’t have to be that way.