We had a bit of a scare yesterday when poor little Gabriele’s tummy started bleeding which was quite a fright. His belly button had been healing so well up until then and it was such a relief for it to pop off and heal, but as the day went on he had little specks of blood on the inside of his nappy where his belly button is, and by the evening it was all over his baby grow. So we called the out of hours doctors and were ordered straight to the hospital; fortunately as soon as the doctor saw Gabriele he was happy that everything was ok and that the bleeding would stop of it’s own accord.
Gabriele hardly slept at all last night for the amount of times he was up for a feed, as soon as he finishes his milk, is winded, changed and then laid down it’s only a matter of minutes again before he wakes up starving hungry, clicking his lips and sticking out his tongue. We’ve been told to feed on demand and boy oh boy does he take advantage of the situation, I didn’t think babies could hold so much milk in their tummies, he’s like a human puffer fish when he drinks and fills himself up to double the size within minutes. So tonight we are upping the ante and moving him onto hungry baby milk in the hope that he will stay content for longer and hopefully give his tired old Mummy a nice peaceful night.
Despite living in water for the last ten months he seems to hate having a bath, we try to make it as enjoyable as possible by heating up the kitchen, putting ducks in his baby bath, laying a flannel over his tummy to make him feel safe and holding him instead of using a cradle but nothing seemed to work and he would scream the house down as soon as he got in until the moment we wrapped him back up in his towel. But then we tried him with a bottle in his baby bath as we only had him in five minutes and I googled to check if women breastfeed their babies in the bath to know if it was safe, and he’s gone from screaming to merman in two seconds flat, when he had his bottle in the bath he was kicking around, grabbing his little duck, looking about and cooing, he couldn’t get enough and it was lovely to see him so relaxed and mobile.
Today he had another weigh-in and has gobbled his way to a healthy 8lbs 11oz and the midwife reassured me that he’s eating happily and to continue feeding on demand until he finds his own routine. Our cheeky little nugget we’re so pleased to see him gaining weight and developing, as he should. I think as a parent you always worry, even about the smallest things, we just want to make sure that we give him and Millie the best upbringing that we can without wrapping them in too much cotton wool that they lose sight of the real world. But if I had things my way I would keep them in a lovely little bubble filled with smiles and cuddles and love and never let them see a grey cloud or sad face. They mean the absolute world to us and I honestly don’t know how we’ve managed to not eat them up already! x x x
I wore a pair of skinny jeans and a vest top today when we went shopping and it felt soooo good to be back in human clothes as opposed to circus tents, I feel almost normal again and it’s that little bit of reality that I needed in order to balance out the pajama bottoms and dark circles that I’ve become accustomed to lately. I still have some unwelcome love handles, thunder thighs and elephant arse syndrome BUT it now seems to be in proportion to my overall size as opposed to being concentrated in one area so I no longer look like a snake that’s swallowed an egg whole. I’m looking forward to weighing myself in a few more days for my weekly body check and hoping that the scales will be kind to me and give me the encouragement to stay healthy. I have to admit I ate birthday cake the other day and had giant chocolate buttons and a bag of salted cashew nuts today, which in itself is probably more calories than a days worth of food, but I needed a treat and a bit of a sugar kick to keep me conscious.
Emotionally I’m feeling so happy right now. I love having two children, I love being able to cuddle and pick Millie up again now that I don’t have a bump, and I love to be needed. No matter day or night, for dirty nappies or just for comfort, it doesn’t matter how tired I am or how much I have to get on with around the house I drop everything in an instant to be there. Just to know that someone out there needs me and takes comfort in being with me makes my heart skip a beat. There is no purer love than a parent and child and I wish everybody could feel this for just a second to know how great it is.
I’m evening out with how I feel about myself. When I had Millie I went from glamorous to garbage overnight because I put all of my time and energy into raising her and giving her my undivided attention that I totally forgot about myself. This time around I feel more in control and more feminine instead of the unisex droid I became with my first pregnancy. I think I’ve adjusted to having another baby a lot quicker because I knew what to expect and had learned the ropes with Millie, so in a way it’s given me the ability to cope and have time to sort myself out and get back on my feet again a lot sooner. I never would have thought that a week after giving birth I’d be so capable of dealing with reality again, and in a way it makes me feel confident that we could have a football team over the next decade and I may still have a shred of glamour left in me!
At the moment I can’t imagine our little family any other way, it feels so complete and natural having two children like it’s been this way all along, our hearts are bursting with pride and love for the little extra person who now completes ‘us’ and we are so excited and enthusiastic about the future. As I write this little Gabriele is nuzzled up on my chest keeping my heart warm with his head tucked under my neck and arms outstretched, fast asleep breathing little sighs and ever so often making squeaks and coos. This is what life is about x x x x x x