Gabriele has been on baby Calpol for two days now and I’m hoping he is coming out of the worst of it now, he really hasn’t been himself the poor thing, and despite it being cold outside his temperature is so much higher than usual, his arms and legs are cool yet clammy and his eyes look weak. He’s had a few little moans, which is unusual for him as he’s always so content normally, but he has still given me a cheeky smile when we have cuddles.
Tomorrow he has his hospital appointment to check that his finger has healed ok so I’m crossing my toes and eyes that the bandages can be removed and nothing has gone wrong. Millie has been a perfect big sister this week, she’s forever kissing his forehead, holding his hand and singing to him. We are so truly blessed to have such wonderful children who love each other so much, and I know God forbid should anything ever happen to Luca or I that they will always be there for one another and never alone x x x
So weight loss this week, I had a whole tub of pringles yesterday as a moment of weakness, and watching Supersize Vs. Superskinny on TV I felt seriously guilty when a dietician burned a single crisps to show how hard it is to work off junk food and a teaspoon of oil came out and it was alight for some time over an open flame. For some reason I don’t think I’m capable of creating fire inside of me so that lonely tube of pringles which was over 1000 calories (EEEEK!) which will be sitting on my hips for sometime. But in my defense I didn’t go out and buy them, my parents visited and brought them over for me and it really is true what they say, once you pop you seriously can’t stop! Ah, and I also kind of had a bowl of pasta over Luca’s parents in the week when we were driving home and decided to pop in as a surprise. But it was delicious! So in a way it makes it that little bit better, even though I have to do the time for it now at least the crime tasted good! Oh and I just remembered I had tomato soup for lunch yesterday with two slices of white toast and butter wow; I’m really not doing too well am I?
I can’t remember the last time that I actually worked out, I think I ran myself into the ground too much, had too little sleep and not enough energy to continue so I basically gave up and stopped exercising and gradually the normal carbohydrate-ridden meals crept back in without me noticing. When I work out I feel so good about myself it makes me want to eat healthy and drink water and stand tall, but when you feel tired and worn out you just want to veg out on the sofa, slouch and eat pizza, it’s so dangerous. And it definitely doesn’t help with this miserable July weather, everything is so grey and soggy outside I’ve forgotten what a bright sunny warm afternoon looks like.
So… I stood on the scales a moment ago and it took me all of a minute to muster the willpower and open my eyes to see the verdict. And when I looked down through my fingers as my hands covered my eyes I was greeted with a 1lb loss, one pound! Still I guess it’s better than nothing, and perhaps a bit too generous for the naughty week I’ve had. But thank you all the same Mr. Metabolism we must do this again sometime soon.
My thighs are still thick and dumpy, my stomach looks and feels like a sleepy stingray with a sad face, pale, soft but not slimy so that’s a bonus! My belly button is still some way off of being a tight hole, at the moment it’s still too relaxed and open for my liking hence my stomach piercing’s are staying firmly in the jewellery box or they will look like a bucket down a wishing well if I put them back in now. So I’m pretty sure I’ll be busting out some sit ups this week to try and woo my abs back once more, energy or no energy I have to be cruel to be kind with myself, so welcome Mrs. Jekyll and Hyde, please do not be gentle. Thanks.
Still no waist, I’m thinking I should report it missing soon as it’s probably already on a beach in Mexico sipping a Mojito without me, the swine! My seat cheeks still bounce and shake when I walk which is extremely undesirable yet it makes me laugh at the same time because it feels funny; like when you blow a raspberry on someone’s tummy and your lips go all fuzzy, it doesn’t exactly give me a fuzzy bum but it makes me aware of it being there, whereas it’s always been so stealth-like before I could be forgiven for thinking I had no derriere in the past.
Still no period, no cramps or backache or any sign of Mother Nature being remotely nearby or even on the distant horizon for that matter. I have noticed an increase in body fluids in my underwear, it’s stayed clear and no repeat of the pink show that I had some weeks ago, but nonetheless it has increased. Weirdly enough I’ve also noticed an increase in my body temperature as I now feel a lot warmer than usual and when people are out wearing coats I’m in a vest top instead and still find little relief from the heat within me. Perhaps it’s this heat that has been burning off my body fat? In which case I might start wearing warmer clothes too to help evict those pringles.
I don’t know if this is possible but I think my sweat has started to smell more strongly? I always thought people were quite used to their own scent and natural body odour, much like when men fart and enjoy sniffing it. I’m not saying I normally walk around stinking of BO, but recently I feel like I can smell it and its strong and not nice and something I’ve never come across before. It may just all be in my head, but I think my hormones are having a party without me and changing my body heat and functions which I don’t remember happening after I had Millie.
Emotionally I’m feeling more settled, I’m getting things done that I want to do, my garden is tidy and my house is in order. I cleared out some old clothes the other day and it was a symbolic gesture that not only made my wardrobe more streamline but also brought clarity to my mind. Being able to do what you want when you want to is the biggest release from this torturous time of quashed routines and deprivation. I feel as though I’m on a lilo out on the vast oceans but there is land in sight, and although it may take a long time to paddle back to shore every little stroke brings me that little bit closer each time.
Today we’re all going shopping together for some final bits for the Christening, which is three weeks away now. I think we’ve covered all bases now and have the majority of it in order, although I also feel like there’s something that I’ve forgotten at the same time and I don’t know what. I guess only time will tell. x