Well now I finally have all of the bits finished for Millie’s birthday, my tick list is complete and it’s just a matter of waiting for the big day now, which won’t be long as there’s only four more sleeps to go! The inside of my special cupboard is covered in pink and sparkles and glitter and singing candles and I’m almost bursting with excitement for her birthday, I’m pretty sure I’m far more childlike than her and she’ll breeze down from her bunk bed on the morning of her birthday, sit at the dining table sipping a black coffee and reading the newspaper and not bat an eyelid at me dancing around in my pyjamas waving pink sparkly presents around like an overpaid circus clown on a bank holiday. 🙂
Looking at my gym routine I’m happy to see my stamina increasing, I’m upping the resistance on the machines and lifting heavier weights. I feel like the hulk when I’m at the gym in my special ‘boy clothes’ as Millie likes to call my spandex, and there’s just something amazing about putting on my trainers and feeling like I can bunny hop over a cloud, it’s as if they give me super powers built from sheer enthusiasm alone.
I love making charts, graphs and lists anyway as I’m a little bit disturbed like that, but to be able to chart my progress and look back on my limits even a week ago, it just gives me the biggest boost ever. I’d still like to trim off a handful of pounds of pudding padding, if I could step on the scales and the first digit be an eight, regardless of what follows I’d be so insanely happy. I like my numbers to match and sit comfortably, from my car stereo always having to be on a volume divisible by two or my working out minutes and reps having to end in a zero or five, just having my weight match my dress size, it’s like the cherry on the cake! Just so long as I don’t drop a dress size when I reach my ideal weight and then have to shed two stone to match it, because that would never happen, it’s hard enough trying to shift an extra pound in weight with my greed! Oink oink!
I’ve now got it in my head that on days when I can’t make the gym I have to do two hundred sit ups, I’m not sure why I set this goal but once I’ve said it out loud it’s set in stone and if I don’t do it then I’ll feel like I’ve failed. Maybe it’s my punishment for not going to the gym like some kind of truancy deterrent, or maybe it’s because I’m relentless, who knows! But as I sit here typing this at nine in the evening after already having done one hundred and fifty sit ups I have no idea what I was thinking by starting this! But at least it will fill both the cardio and weight columns on my gym chart, not bad for missing a day off really. 🙂
And Gabriele has been such a star at nighttime recently, he sleeps so well bless him, giving me a nice block of sleep with only a couple of feeds during the night. But despite this I’m feeling rougher than ever, I look weak and tired like some kind of addict no doubt! I feel drained and lifeless this evening as if I’m coming down with the flu, my skin is tender, my eyes are dry and hot and all I want to do is curl up and roll off in a limb-wrapped ball. After fifty more sit ups perhaps… yawwwwwn! x