Age: 5months & 1week & 6days

So I’ve been a busy gym bunny this week, which I suspect has been down to my newfound naughty reading habits encouraging me to go, as I flick through the pages of Fifty Shades Of Grey whilst peddling away on the bike. It actually made me blush the other day, which was fortunately covered discreetly by the fact that I was also puffing and panting on the machine and already slightly flustered to begin with!

And the weird thing is after I’ve read something naughty I jump on the weights and find that I can lift like a robot 🙂 which I’ve never been able to do before, it must be the adrenaline. I’m now considering keeping my Fifty Shades in my handbag at Millie’s first sports day, ready for the moment when the parents egg and spoon race comes up so that I can fuel myself with a quick flick through the pages and much like Popeye eating his can of spinach, suddenly I’ll become immortal and win the day. Hoorah!

The weird thing that happens to me when I read books is I start to compare it to my own life, and obviously fictional stories are always hyped up above and beyond reality; the love is more romantic, the pain and suffering is more inhumane and the good times last longer than just a weekend. But when I read about love and lust I can’t help but feel a direct connection to my relationship with Luca. And I think any relationship that has had it’s honeymoon period, settled into life for a few years and then had two children is possibly extremely similar to how we now are as a kind of ‘take it or leave it’ couple; some days I think I’ve put my mojo in the washing machine for how uninterested I feel, but then other days I suspect I may have been spiked by viagra in my soup. My enthusiasm seems to come and go – insert your own joke here! And I really can’t figure out why, sometimes it’s a relief to fall asleep face down dribbling into my pillow with unshaven legs and other days I’m touching up my lipgloss ready for bed. Maybe it’s just my hormones settling down or the fact that we now have a chubby little boy sleeping in our bedroom, but I’ve never felt so up and down about bedtime! Ah, the innuendoes are rife today. 🙂

Anyway, onto more pressing matters, the gym! So this week I’ve been the greediest pig you ever did see, we’ve had take aways, massive curries, chinese, dinners for breakfast and pringles, cookies, shortbread, gingerbread, pancakes and oven junk dinners. Although I’ve been working hard at the gym I have a far greater appetite than usual and have definitely upped my food intake by about an extra half I suspect. And I’m unsure of what my weight lifting is doing to my weight loss, am I trimming off fat only to replace its weight with muscle? I have no idea.

So hoping that the beloved weighing scales would answer my question, I stepped on this morning before having a glass of water so as not to become any heavier, and looked up at the screen completely confused to see no change! Have I lost weight and put it on in junk? Am I any slimmer? Do I have more muscle now instead of fat? Or are my scales just being lazy and can’t think of what to do to me this week? How annoying yet rewarding at the same time to not have gained weight.

My Weight Loss 22Weeks After Giving Birth

So looking at my body my thighs feel huge and muscular, I wouldn’t want them scrawny and boney but at the same time I don’t want to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger. I like how when I walk I can feel the muscle flex instead of bounce and wobble, and when I wear heels it makes my legs feel tight and shaped, but I don’t know, they’re still not exactly how I want them, not yet.

I’m also trying to convince myself that now is ‘Ab-Time’ because there is nothing more delicious than a tight flat stomach, yet it’s the most soul destroying exercise to do crunches and it gives me friction burns on the base of my spine! But hopefully I’ll find a way to make it fun and interesting so that I don’t trail off my enthusiasm and forever resemble Buddha in the nude! We shall see.

Gabriele Holding His Head Up In Bed

Gabriele has now shifted his first cold, hoorah! And he’s looking and feeling so much better bless him. It’s adorable when he lays in our bed and can now flip himself over, pull out his arms from underneath him and hold his head up and look around, it seems his development is growing day by day and he’s changing so fast now at five and a half months old tomorrow. He’s also building a lovely relationship with the cat and dog. Joey our Chihuahua has always slept beside him when we cuddle on the sofa since he was born really, but our scared-cat Toby was always a little reserved. So I was delighted when he came bouncing into the bedroom this morning and came straight up to Gabriele and rubbed his nose against his cheek and purred, and Gabriele gives the animals the biggest smiles and cheeky grin it’s lovely to see. It’s just how Millie was with Joey as a baby, when he was only two years old when she was born and they had this fantastic bond, always cuddling, playing and exploring together, it just adds such a wonderful dynamic to a child’s life and it’s great to observe.

Millie With Her Birthday Claireabella Bag

So Millie’s fifth birthday is in six days time and in anticipation of the mountain of presents she will have to open on her big day, and also because I get too excited and can’t contain surprises for long, I allowed her to open one of her presents yesterday so as to space out the fun. And her face absolutely lit up to see her Claireabella bag, which was hand-painted and personalised to have a picture of her on the front and her name. It melts my heart to see her smile and I honestly can’t believe she’s going to be five in a week’s time, my little girl, five! Where does the time go!?

And she’s just as cheeky and inquisitive as ever, she’s like a miniature adult with a wise head on her shoulders, wise beyond her years which I’m not sure if it’s a good or bad thing. I look back at pictures from when I was her age and I’m sat in my pants making mud castles with a bowl haircut and goofy smile in the garden; then I look at Millie and she’s dressing in colour co-ordinated outfits and telling me how to take the subtitles off of her TV! It’s insane to see the difference that one generation can make to life, children aren’t children anymore, they mature so fast and it’s scary to think that I didn’t have the same intellect or understanding of life as Millie does now until I was at least seven.

But enough reminiscing, the birthday preparations have started and I need to get my behind into gear to ensure it’s all ready in time for her big day; balloons, cake, lunch booked, party invites handed out, tickets to the indoor play ordered, and some nice decorations and girly bits to magic-up the house the night before ready for her awakening.

Busy bee!

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Tracy Kiss

Social influencer, Bodybuilder, Mother, Vegan
London, UK

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