Where’s My Positive Pregnancy Test?

Well I didn’t last long as nerves got the better of me. I bought a pregnancy test this afternoon whilst out shopping and at 5pm I secret-squirrely did the deed in a plastic cup and waited my three minutes. The instructions were a nightmare and it serves me right for not getting a Clearblue. I timed it with my mobile phone in one hand and hoped I’d done it right, keeping it in the cup for just the right amount of time, laying it flat – even though we live on a hill; which I’m not sure if the pregnancy test takes into account gradient and altitude? And finally the control line appeared and I actually prayed to the window of evaporating wee to give me a positive sign, but as the minutes ticked by nothing showed up, I waited painstakingly until the final deadline before the test became void and still nothing. Thinking about it, maybe the fairy liquid I washed the plastic cup in could have interfered with the result? Or the fact I took the test so late in the day after having drank lots of water? Or maybe my hormone bank was closed for the weekend so I should wait until Monday?

I just don’t understand it, I was pregnant only two months ago without knowing or planning it and now it’s almost impossible to do it again no matter how hard I try. I know that my period returned, and we planned the dates when I would be most fertile with my crotch connoisseuring and still nothing? All of the ingredients are there and the timing is right; inside I feel so different, I feel like my body has changed shape, everything is firmer and I’m more aware of dull aches and pains so that’s got to mean something surely.

I checked the calendar earlier and I’m thirteen days off of my next period so I’ll have to wait until then to find out. I really can’t stand waiting recently, I’ve tidied the whole house ten times over today trying to take my mind off of it and I know it should be an exciting and happy time but I feel like a troll under the bridge yelling at the billy goats for walking too slowly; hurry up you wriggly billies and eat your omelette already because it’s bedtime for this troll!


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Tracy Kiss

Social influencer, Bodybuilder, Mother, Vegan
London, UK

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