Well!! No sign of Mrs. Period, I’m three days late and have the biggest smile on my face I think I might have to get my teeth whitened for the tan that my teeth have been getting from such a grin I’ve been sporting. I haven’t taken a test yet, I want to wait another month first, and this time I really hope that it goes smoothly. I’m 99.9% sure that I’m pregnant, although I don’t feel as happy as when I found out before, I think because I don’t want to open my heart again just yet. Even though I want this more than anything in the world, I don’t want to set myself up for a fall again. So if I don’t come face to face with a pregnancy test before I end up in pain again, then maybe a part of me will believe that it isn’t another little life lost if lightening could strike twice.
My stomach still feels hard and I’m craving cold milk, which I also had with my first pregnancy, as usually I can’t stand milk. I’ve had a few nights where I’ve been absolutely drained and had to go to bed sometimes during daylight! I don’t know if I’m making a baby or actually turning into a baby. We go to Italy in six weeks time so as a little gift to myself I will do a test the day before we go. I really don’t want to get my hopes up, but at the moment I’m a lot calmer than I thought I’d be. My baby shop stalking was getting so exciting, I love looking in prams and seeing little chubby faces and crinkled fingers, and now I’m a little cautious to keep my distance; like when you go into somebodies house who has a dog and you’re scared it might smell your dog and hump/urinate on your leg.
We shall see….. Eeek!!