Oh my God! I NEVER thought I’d be capable of doing what I’ve just done right now! I’m literally grinning from ear to ear right now as I type and I’m feeling the best I’ve ever felt in my life. And it’s all down to the Goddess that is Ms Jodie Marsh! 🙂 Semtex, you complete me 🙂
So today I received my delightful period five months after giving birth and I greeted Mother Nature with a few choice words and some fist shaking to say the least. I’m only a couple of periods into my annual cycle after having my second child and I have to admit I have been feeling destroyed all day. My insides ache, I’ve had the usual hollow dropping sensation in my lady area, my lower back feels like it’s been smashed by a sledge hammer and all I’ve wanted to do is sink into a hot bubble bath and soak away my aches and pains.
Although my periods are never pleasant, I always try to avoid taking pain killers and much prefer to rely on my faithful hot water bottle and a back rub instead, as I curl up in my joggers on the sofa and try my best to carry on and make do. And with the help of my super absorbent tampax I soldiered through today one step at a time wincing as I carried on with my usual maternity leave routine of housework, cooking, laundry and the school run and baby raising.
Despite feeling like something the cat had dragged in I convinced myself that when Luca comes home from work around six I would head to the gym and try a few minutes of cardio so as not to get out of my routine as I didn’t go yesterday and felt a little guilty for slacking. I’ve never worked out on my period before and didn’t have very high hopes for being able to sustain more than ten minutes on a treadmill today after being up with Gabriele all night and feeling weak and drained all day. And by the time Luca got home later than usual due to bumper to bumper traffic on the way home, and after I’d cooked and served his dinner and finished the dishes I admitted defeat and told him it was far too late, I was too weak and tired and couldn’t face the gym tonight. So I finally slumped on the sofa this evening and nuzzled up to Gabriele using his warmth to soothe my aching stomach.
And then it caught my eye, there it was, my pot of Semtex taking pride of place on my mantle shelf brand new and unopened, and I have to say curiosity definitely killed this cat! Meow! I’ve been so excited to try out my Semtex since it arrived the other day but feeling so rubbish I spent several minutes torturing myself over what to do. The kids were in bed; Luca was settling down on the sofa, I finally had my feet up for the first time today, yet this pot of naughtiness sparked a little demon inside me that I just couldn’t ignore.
Swallowing two vegetarian capsules – mega bonus points already for avoiding disgusting gelatine shells – I had a glint in my eye as I raised two fingers to mother nature and forced myself upstairs to change for the gym. Despite feeling defeated I convinced myself I’d give it a go and try just ten minutes because it’s better than nothing and I’d nobody to blame but myself for giving up otherwise.
Heading to the gym in the darkness it crossed my mind more than once that I must be insane to be heading out so late and in such discomfort but when I got through the door I was adamant to try my best. Stepping onto the cross trainer after a minute into my usual stride I felt it was too easy and upped the resistance by four levels above my usual and have to say I could have gone harder but didn’t want to destroy myself too soon.
Ten minutes in I would usually be feeling the burn, my legs would be resisting the rhythm and begging me to ease off and start the three minute cool down and my throat and lungs would be burning hot and raw; yet tonight I was happy to carry on completely unfazed. And if you’ve ever seen a television advert for Galaxy chocolate when a flawless model lies on a bed in her underwear and seductively binges on the smooth taste and sensation of milk chocolate then you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. My lungs felt smooth and relaxed, my breathing was rhythmic and easy and instead of cringing and hanging onto every last second on the clock begging it to count down quicker I just breezed through the entire time, despite being four levels higher then my usual resistance and having the period from hell.
For my first day into my third week at the gym I wasn’t expecting to hit my usual standard of cardio which at my peak so far has been around six miles across forty minutes which I was so proud to achieve last week. But tonight I was completely unstoppable, in a loose and easy rhythm it was hard to believe I was even moving and I was completely shocked to notice my speed and consistency on the monitor throughout.
And what were my final stats at the end of my workout? Just over TWELVE KM across ONE HOUR of constant cardio and I had to do a double take when I looked down at the clock. As I pulled out my phone to take a picture in disbelief the machine beeped at sixty minutes and forced me into a four minute cool down timer so I asked a guy on the weight bench next to me to take a snap of the distance on my machine as I continued to stride through the cool down and couldn’t take a still picture that didn’t blur. And the scary thing is, I could easily have kept going if the machine hadn’t stopped me at an hour and my Cinderella carriage hadn’t threatened to turn back into a pumpkin in the car park as I rushed home to get back for Luca and the kids.
Walking out of the gym a moment ago my legs refused to show any sign of weakness and carried me striding into the car park and beyond completely oblivious to the last hour of activity I’d just undertaken. And when I returned home I could have cartwheeled up the stairs to bed for all of the excitement and adrenaline that I felt. And five minutes ago as I stood under the cold running water of the shower I laughed in disbelief of what I’ve just achieved, it’s more than amazing, it’s beyond astonishment. I’m completely dumbfounded right now and I feel better than I ever have in my whole life.
I am now a well-founded Semtex minion, for it’s stamina, adrenaline and complete flawlessness in assisting my working out. If I can do this on my period after one dose post-pregnancy, I can only imagine what I’ll be able to achieve in a months time. Bathroom scales eat your heart out! Jodie Marsh, if I was that way inclined I’d actually ask you to marry me right now! But for the moment my curiosity has led me to think a cheeky thought of how using Semtex in the gym might possibly compare to using Semtex in the bedroom!? 🙂 Ooh la la! Goodnight.