All of us have a little inner voice in our head that might generate suspicions about ourselves from time to time. Many times, this can be a good thing. Perhaps we were a little rude to that person in our way this morning, and we now know we should try and apologise. Perhaps we know that we should have tried harder in the gym last night so we’re going to rectify that today.
But sometimes, it can be that you judge yourself unfairly. The most freeing thing to understand is that you’re not perfect now and you’ll never be perfect. But that’s okay because no one is perfect. In our admirable attempts to be better people everyday it can be very hard to avoid going a little overboard and holding ourselves to a standard that perhaps we wouldn’t ask other people to adhere to. This all sounds rather mysterious for now, so let us get into specifics with the following advice that I hope you find helpful.
Can You Change Those Problems?
A great method of clearing out some of the mental dust that accumulates when we’re too critical of ourselves – think of a few things in your past that still come to mind. You might have experienced a few issues that you now regret, especially pertaining to things you might have done or said. But there’s no need to tortue yourself over those things. Instead, ask yourself these questions…
Can you change it for the better? If not, then you should discard it and understand that the past is the past. If yes, then it might be worth considering how. Might an apology work? Might talking candidly to a friend work? What other creative solution could you use? This might help you to put the matter to bed. The chances are the person who you believe you injured so badly might not actually have considered it to be so terrible at all. Either way, it’s always worth finding out what you can change and what you can’t, using that knowledge to help you avoid your mind routinely coming back to the same issue time and time again. Because as we all know, overthinking can waste many days.
Are You Limiting Yourself?
Some of us have misplaced ideas about our identity and who we are. For example, we might think ‘well, I’d like to, but I could never be the person to wear a summer dress and pull it off.’ Why do you think that? Is it because you might have told yourself this one year when you didn’t like how you looked in the mirror? We all have preconceived notions about ourselves and often these can lead back to our childhood or even young adulthood. Is it time that you refreshed those notions? Why can’t you wear a summer dress? Perhaps you just haven’t found the right one that helps you to feel your most confident when in actual fact you’d look great in it!
These false limits can also prevent us from finding the benefit that we might want so dearly. We might think that we’d like to tone our body just a little, but we might judge ourselves for wanting cosmetic surgery, or even a non-surgical bum lift. Yet we shouldn’t. You only have one body and the last time that I checked, it’s yours to do with what you will. If you’re making the choice for the right reasons then it’s absolutely your prerogative to enjoy shaping it how you would like, or finding that extra bit of confidence you may have needed. Making small changes could give you the key to strut your stuff next time that you’re at the beach. So stop judging yourself unfairly and very quickly a world of possibilities will open up.
Forgive yourself. That sickly feeling of guilt seems to follow us everywhere. Perhaps we’ve been subconsciously ashamed of ourselves since we let an opportunity slip through our fingers or stuck around in a relationship that wasn’t good for us for a long time and that has led us to feel less secure in ourselves. Maybe we’ve taken a decision to separate ourselves from our family and friends due to the toxic environment they were happy to promote, yet we still feel guilty about it – after all, we’re only human!
But no matter the reason, learning to forgive yourself can be a tremendously powerful and important gift that you should bestow upon yourself frequently. If you can do this you will have a true excess of power. With these tips I hope that you can avoid judging yourself unfairly and live a healthier, happier and more confident life.